Yeah...
Well, I know I haven't posted in about a week. I'm sorry about that. I've really been ignoring my health goals lately. It hasn't been that I've had too much to do...I've just been ignoring my goals. I've been ignoring myself, really. I think part of the problem is that I just may not want this bad enough. It's kind of on a back burner, after school. I need the summer so I can have a little bit less to do and a little bit more energy to focus on health, but I know if I just put it off until summer that I will never get back on track. Another part of the problem, in my opinion, is that I've become bored with my workouts. I hate the idea of becoming a slave to the gym, and I should really think of more creative ways to get exercise for times when I don't have access to the gym, like the summers. I get bored pretty quickly if I do the same thing over and over again, so I think I'm going to incorporate more dance practice into my weeks. I need it because I've become rusty, and it's exercise that I love to do and that I know I will keep up with. I have two choreographies to perfect for a semester-end recital, and I want to put a new one together over the summer in the hopes I will have a solo spot in Raks Party 2010 this fall. The only obstacle to this is keeping my room clean...yikes! I've been trying to clean my room bit by bit and so far it's taken me a week and I'm still not done! I'm not kidding. Ask my boyfriend.
So I'm going to try and refocus my energies. Apologies to those who follow me and have already heard this about five times (I told you never finish anything...). Maybe I've been quitting more often than most people, but I really have no will to do things just for me - if it's something for somebody else, I can have it done in as little time as possible, but I have a really difficult time focusing on my own body and my own self sometimes. I really miss my yoga class - that was awesome "me" time. Maybe now that my room is clean I can roll out my yoga mat again. At least I keep coming back to my plan and trying again. If you don't succeed, try, try again, I guess.
I've been trying to think of creative incentives to keep me exercising, and I think I've found one that might work. Ten-pound goal rewards always seem so distant...I haven't even lost ten pounds yet! : ( I saw a comment on one of Jack's posts, I think, where a woman was giving herself fifty cents for every workout so she could save up and buy something for herself. Although my budget is quickly becoming tighter, I think I might start doing this too. I'm going to empty out my piggy bank and start replacing the coins for every workout - I'm thinking 25 cents for every half hour, and when I get a good amount of cash saved up I'm going to buy myself a new swimsuit! That's like double incentive, right? :P I really need a new swimsuit as mine from last year never looked great to being with and is starting to fall apart now. I think I might keep track of how much is in my bank on the side of my blog as a reminder to myself to keep it up.
I just wanted to make a shoutout to a few people. Firstly, my boyfriend's mom Terri for losing over ten pounds! Yay! She said that I was an inspiration for her, but sphff - now she's an inspiration for me. Also, to my Uncle Richard, for reading this and giving me some really great weight-loss advice. He too has always struggled with his weight, and his timely email today renewed my resolve to not only get this weight gone, but to consider the life-long changes I'm making. Thanks to both of you guys. : )
Also - Happy Belated Birthday, Alexia! You rock my socks off, lady. : )
And a huge thanks to all my readers who are sticking with me even though I'm not doing a great job here right now. A couple of time I have thought about abandoning this blog and just giving up, but knowing that are people are expecting posts and progress of me is really helping me out. I love this community, and I truly appreciate everybody who reads my ups and downs.
Okay, well I've done a little dancing and now I'm going to keep going. Adios! <3
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Thank you for the birthday wishes - I really appreciate it! Yayyy!
ReplyDeleteI like the putting money away idea. I may even try! One of my other blogger friends allows herself a weekly iTunes download for your exercise playlist.
In the past, I use to feel something violent for people--especially thin ones--who enjoyed exercise. But now I kind of do. Because I see that I'm losing weight, that my endurance is getting better, that I'm firmer, my boobs are shrinking, etc.
I didn't start to enjoy exercise until I joined my gym in late January. Before that I relied on my DVDs and I would make every excuse not to do them.
I've been taking fitness group classes at my gym and they are the best thing ever. I almost ashamed but very proud to admit that I plan my day around my spinning classes. It's that serious! I found a couple class instructors (one taps me on the butt telling me to go faster! Ha!) that motivate me.
So my point is that it's best for you to find what works for you. Exercise shouldn't be any more painful than it already is! They even offer dancing group fitness classes at my gym that I would take if I wasn't such a embarrassingly terrible dancer. But something like that might work for you!
And about not having the energy, I guess you have to reevaluate what you health goals are. I refuse to reach March 23, 2011 (bday) obese or overweight. Whenever I do something dumb or I want to, I ask myself if the glass of soda or chinese food or whatever is worth me not reaching my health goals.
I was reading about fat acceptance yesterday - people who believe that fatness should be accepted and they are happy at 300 pounds, etc.
And as disturbed as I am about that concept because fat clogging anyone's arteries is life threatening, I personally really don't like being fat! I mean, I like myself, so I don't like harming myself which is really what reckless eating does to me. RANT OVER. Ha! And thanks again!
Thanks for the shout out my lovely friend! Ok, sounds like you need some "tough love." IF you don't lose this weight, you will end up looking like me and feeling like I do. I notice you said something about doing for others with no problem. Yea? Keep it up and you will then feel like I do. Always there for someone else other than yourself. Then you will be 46yrs old, can't use the excuse "I just had a baby", and feeling like shit because time has passed by and there were a ton of things you wanted to do but couldn't or wouldn't because your weight held you back for years and years. Focus on yourself damn it. Be selfish with yourself and your time. IF you run out of ideas with working out, WALK! You live on a beautiful campus. Spring is here. WALK around the campus, but walk FAST. Swing those arms back and forth, hold your head high, suck in the gut and walk your ass off. Walking is free. Don't have to pay a membership, don't have to show up at a gym and feel bad next to the skinny bitches, and once again, it is FREE! Now, I must go now, if I get to the Ymca early enough I don't have to worry about skinny bitches, just old people who have more stamina and motivation than I do at 8:00am. Then again, Cloe could use a morning walk. Hmmm. Love you my dear!!!!! Tough love lesson over. Toodles!
ReplyDeleteAH! You said "You rock my socks off". I never want to hear anybody complain about me saying that ever again! hahaha. This is Courtney btw if you couldn't tell. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't exercised except once since spring break.
ReplyDeleteYay Erika! I will read it too :) If you ever want to run with someone or go to the gym, I go every day and know lots of ways of getting exercise and I would love to help.
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