I'm sure many of you out there know how fickle the scale can be. For example, yesterday I magically gained and then lost six pounds. Amazing. I've decided that the scale may not be the best way for me to keep track of my progress, so I'm bumping weigh-ins back to every two weeks. Hopefully this will allow me to see a bigger difference each weigh-in and will offset the bizarre fluctuations I see. Because I've made this decision, I wanted to talk about things that a lot of you talk about: non-scale victories.
Non-scale victories are extremely important to recognize and reward ourselves for while we're on the way toward becoming healthy, happy people. Not only does the scale jump around like a three-year old boy with ADHD after eating a pound of Pixie Stix, it can also become a point of unhealthy obsession. If it wasn't so convenient (and satisfactory) to measure our success in terms of our weight, I would do away with the scale altogether. Since we can't really do that as most health information is related in terms of that number on the scale, those non-scale victories that we notice daily are hugely important to keep up inspired, as well as a reminder that we are more than a number. Although I'm not keeping up with it per se, I'm hugely in love with Tiff's I Am Worth More Challenge. I think it's a fantastic way for us all to think about ourselves in terms of the men and women we are and are becoming through our endeavors, not just the number. Although I'm not putting post-it's on my scale, I hid it under the sink in the bathroom and have been mentally noting some victories for me to share with you, as well as some general reflections on how I'm feeling about all this thus far.
- I don't eat cheese at work anymore. The past few shifts I've worked have been cheese-less, and as cheese is one of my most favorite kinds of food on this planet, I consider it a huge victory that I can look at it all day behind the deli line and keep myself from eating it. I have also stopped getting cheese on sandwiches, which is a big deal. I used to put just as much cheese on my sammiches as meat, and I like me a seriously big sammich. It doesn't even occur to me to put cheese on sandwiches anymore - the only cheese I even buy at the store is string cheese for snacks and cottage cheese for the mornings.
- I can say no to the cookies at work. The other day, I had to wrap all of them - the day I posted those pictures. As I wrapped each cookie, I mentally told it "I don't need you". "You'll just make all my hard work go to waste". "These are for customers, not for me". "Only the first bite is good anyway". "I can use these calories in other ways". "You're not even that tasty!", etc.
- On a related note, on Tuesday night I covered a shift for a coworker and grabbed a cookie without thinking to stop myself. I had about four little pieces of it, and was done. I had satiated my craving. I threw the rest of the cookie away, instead of mindlessly eating the rest of it as I would have done two months ago.
- My workout pants are almost too big. Wednesday at the gym, I did a little interval jogging around the track. I had to stop and hit the bike because my pants kept sliding down my hips and I was having to hike them up with really awkward Frankenstein-waddling kinds of steps. They're just stretch pants, so it feels good to know that these stretchy pants are getting too big.
- One word: bootyliciousness. I noticed after I got undressed to get in the shower today that I actually have a nice butt back there. I've always thought my butt was nonexistent, and my friends and sister tease me about it endlessly. But the more weight I lose, the nicer it's starting to look. It's returning from exile after years of unhealthy habits, haha. I can't wait to see what it looks like ten pounds from now.
- I can feel my legs and hips slimming out. If I stand with my hands on my hips, it feels different. Where my hands are and where my memory of them always being are different places. Even my boyfriend has noticed a difference. They're becoming smoother as my love handles shrink, and when I practice dancing in front of mirror I can see the beginnings of some really nice definition between my hips and my belly - I'm not just one big jiggly jello-mold blob anymore. I'm also starting to notice some separation between my thighs. My thighs have always rubbed together (see The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly for a description of how annoying it is to wear dresses/skirts). The longer I keep at this, the less my thighs touch. I'm okay with there never being a slit of air all the way between them because I love my curves, but it will be so nice to wear dresses this summer with thinner thighs.
- My stomach is getting smaller. I noticed this yesterday when I went out for some dinner with my roommate. He and I went to this place called Laughing Planet, where everything is fresh, healthy, and made on site. I love this restaurant, and he was being totally supportive in letting me choose someplace good for us. I got a salad with all kinds of lettuce, some beans and diced tomato, some tortillas chips, and medium-hot salsa as dressing. Although it was kind of big salad, it wasn't as big as some I've eaten in the past, and I couldn't even finish it. That's right, I left salad left over at the bottom of the bowl. I was so full that I wasn't even hungry for another six hours (thanks, black beans!).
- I'm the freakin' Energizer Bunny. It's true. I have a ton more energy now than I used to. Working out hypes me up so much that it often means I don't sleep well because I work out at night and just can't sleep afterward! Probably not a good thing, but definitely an interesting benefit.
- Healthy eating is starting to become a habit. When I get up in the morning, I automatically gravitate toward healthful cereal, fruit, cottage cheese, etc. Lunch is almost always packed with vegetables, and my first instinct when I'm hungry is to think about something healthy. I only have to remind myself to eat something healthy a couple of times a week now, versus five times a day when I first started this roughly six weeks ago. Honestly, it feels so good. I just feel clean and good to go. Like a well-oiled machine, you might say. I'm actually excited to live the rest of my life this way. The only obstacle I see is once I start thinking it's become a habit for good and stop paying attention to what I'm eating. However, that's how my weight loss attempt failed last time, and I learn from my mistakes. I'm going to stay on top of it.
- I love myself more every day. Enough said. : )
Well I know that writing these things down for all to see has really helped refocus my energy after the stress fest that this past week has been. Next week is going to be just as bad, but I know I'm going to succeed. I can feel it in my belly, haha.
Goodnight, loves. <3
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday Weigh-In #4
I weighed myself this morning, and the scale told me 206. I think she's lying to me. I'm pretty sure it so high because I had only gotten four-five hours of sleep, and had eaten a lot of food right before I went to bed (because I had just gotten off work at 1:30 in the morning, yikes). I'm not letting it bother me. Like Tiff said - breathe in, breathe out, move forward. I'm sure that I gained a pound or two - my eating this week has been really, really off. I've fallen behind in some schoolwork, so catching up has been my priority, causing my diet to slip. But today, after I saw that number this morning, I kicked my ass in gear. I could have used a little more fruit today, but other than that I did great. Toast with peanut butter and cottage cheese for breakfast, ONE serving of cheese at work, pretzels and veggies for snack/lunch/mealthing, veggies a little later one, two mugs of green tea (antioxidants, yay!), a string cheese, a PB&J, and two coke zeros (they were giving them away for free at the library), and then a Healthy Choice dinner. I came out between 1300 and 1400 - perfect. And I even made it to the gym for 45 minutes of cardio.
I was SO IMPRESSED by my Healthy Choice dinner, by the way. It was the complete meals kind, the Country Herb Chicken. It was fantastic. Usually frozen dinner chicken scares the crap out of me and I usually just buy vegetarian meals because the chicken gets nasty, but this chicken was delicious. It was moist, and perfect, and no grissel or anything nasty about it at all. It tasted like it had just been cooked. It came with red potatoes (which I LOVE) and a gravy that tasted like my grandma teleported herself into my microwave and made it just for me. The veggies steamed perfectly, and the blueberry crisp dessert thing was phenomenal. I just don't have enough good things to say about that dinner.
Well that's all for tonight - I'm exhausted and have to be awake in less than six hours for more work. Tomorrow, though, expect a nice, long, reflective post about the scale and some non-scale victories. : )
Nighty night, friends. <3
EDIT: This is Thursday morning (at 6:15, ugh). I just weighed myself, and they scale said 202.5, so I'm gonna go with that. Less than a pound gain. I can definitely jump back on the horse this week and get rid of that, plus some. : )
I was SO IMPRESSED by my Healthy Choice dinner, by the way. It was the complete meals kind, the Country Herb Chicken. It was fantastic. Usually frozen dinner chicken scares the crap out of me and I usually just buy vegetarian meals because the chicken gets nasty, but this chicken was delicious. It was moist, and perfect, and no grissel or anything nasty about it at all. It tasted like it had just been cooked. It came with red potatoes (which I LOVE) and a gravy that tasted like my grandma teleported herself into my microwave and made it just for me. The veggies steamed perfectly, and the blueberry crisp dessert thing was phenomenal. I just don't have enough good things to say about that dinner.
Well that's all for tonight - I'm exhausted and have to be awake in less than six hours for more work. Tomorrow, though, expect a nice, long, reflective post about the scale and some non-scale victories. : )
Nighty night, friends. <3
EDIT: This is Thursday morning (at 6:15, ugh). I just weighed myself, and they scale said 202.5, so I'm gonna go with that. Less than a pound gain. I can definitely jump back on the horse this week and get rid of that, plus some. : )
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Excuses, Excuses
Oh man, I have six followers! Hi, guys! *waves madly* :D
So today has been a little weird. My cat, Patrick, woke me up at five this morning. I have to shut him in my room with me at night because his litter box is in the laundry room off my bedroom, and if I don't close the door at night it gets super, epically frigid in my room and I freeze and sleep worse than I do on regular nights when Patrick's trampling all over my face and boobs. He's such a little shit sometimes, but I do love him to death. How could I not love something this cute?
God, I'm a crazy cat lady in the making. :P
Yeah, so I've been up since forever this morning. Had to work 7-11, had class til 2:15, worked 2:30-3:30, did a lab assignment for my GIS class til 5:30, walked home because I forgot I had driven to campus this morning, rode the bus to bellydance class, left at 7:35 to go get my car and come home, and I have to leave in 45 minutes to cover a shift for a coworker who's taking my Thursday night shift. Basically, I'm going to be exhausted tonight, haha, and I have a mountain of homework to do. : / Oh well. Such is life, I guess.
Well, the title of this post is something I've heard from my mom/grandma/assorted older female relative all my life. Whenever I'd whine about having to do something, they'd look at me and say "Excuses, excuses, Erika". And, lo and behold, they were right! Hah, who'd have thought. I realized today, as I ate a cookie from work, that I was using my busy schedule today as an excuse to eat whatever I felt like eating. I was justifying the cookie and all the cheese I ate today by saying "Oh, I'm so busy today, I couldn't possibly track and stay under 1300 calories - I'll just stop altogether". Perhaps I couldn't stay under 1300, since I'll be up for four hours longer than I usually am, but 1600 wouldn't be unreasonable since I would need two dinners. But instead of finding a rational, healthy solution to my problem, I gave up for the day. Super bad news bears, guys. It's days like this (and the weekend) that I need to pay extra attention to what I'm eating. Especially when I'm faced with these things at work all day:
So today has been a little weird. My cat, Patrick, woke me up at five this morning. I have to shut him in my room with me at night because his litter box is in the laundry room off my bedroom, and if I don't close the door at night it gets super, epically frigid in my room and I freeze and sleep worse than I do on regular nights when Patrick's trampling all over my face and boobs. He's such a little shit sometimes, but I do love him to death. How could I not love something this cute?
God, I'm a crazy cat lady in the making. :P
Yeah, so I've been up since forever this morning. Had to work 7-11, had class til 2:15, worked 2:30-3:30, did a lab assignment for my GIS class til 5:30, walked home because I forgot I had driven to campus this morning, rode the bus to bellydance class, left at 7:35 to go get my car and come home, and I have to leave in 45 minutes to cover a shift for a coworker who's taking my Thursday night shift. Basically, I'm going to be exhausted tonight, haha, and I have a mountain of homework to do. : / Oh well. Such is life, I guess.
Well, the title of this post is something I've heard from my mom/grandma/assorted older female relative all my life. Whenever I'd whine about having to do something, they'd look at me and say "Excuses, excuses, Erika". And, lo and behold, they were right! Hah, who'd have thought. I realized today, as I ate a cookie from work, that I was using my busy schedule today as an excuse to eat whatever I felt like eating. I was justifying the cookie and all the cheese I ate today by saying "Oh, I'm so busy today, I couldn't possibly track and stay under 1300 calories - I'll just stop altogether". Perhaps I couldn't stay under 1300, since I'll be up for four hours longer than I usually am, but 1600 wouldn't be unreasonable since I would need two dinners. But instead of finding a rational, healthy solution to my problem, I gave up for the day. Super bad news bears, guys. It's days like this (and the weekend) that I need to pay extra attention to what I'm eating. Especially when I'm faced with these things at work all day:
Yeah. Lookit that. That's what I work with. That and sammiches, pop, and various unhealthy things. I wrapped all those cookies in plastic this morning, and I usually stock the pastry case when the donut man arrives in the morning. And let me tell you, my campus dining program makes some seriously tasty pastries/cookies. I guess eating a ton of cheese while I'm working and hungry is better than eating donut after donut, but it's still extra calories I don't need.
From here on out, I'm going to put extra effort into not eating crap on Thursdays (or any other day I end up being super busy) just because I have a lot to do. Life is filled with lots of things to do, and I will never reach my goal if I keep letting my diet slide. I refuse to not reach my goal. I've already lost almost seven pounds - that full body massage is so close.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to see a gain on the scale in the morning (if I ever make it to bed, that is...). I think I may have to make a sacrifice and skip my daily Spanish class to study for a test I have in the class after, since I won't be able to do anything tonight. I could be studying right now, but...oops. Oh well. We never do anything important in that Spanish class anyway.
Well, I'm going to go find something (relatively) healthy to eat before work. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow! Thanks for reading! <3
Monday, February 15, 2010
Winter Wonderland of Death
So, yesterday, we got dumped on. We don't really get much snow here in Bloomington (we mostly get ice storms, from my experience), but yesterday we got, oh...five inches? Six? I literally had to dig my car out today to get to the gym. And even though the roads were so nasty that the bus I was on this morning slid six feet trying to stop, almost crushing a little plastic car in front of it, we still had class. I just don't get it. Oh well.
Today, I ate near-flawlessly.
Breakfast: Raisin Bran Crunch w/ 3/4C Soymilk -250
Two cups of Pineapple Orange Banana juice (mm...I don't like to drink my calories, but I've been feelin' the sickies comin' on and decided I needed the vitamin C). - 240 (and four servings of fruit!)
Snack/Lunch?: Bag of carrots and grapes - 100 - and string cheese - 80.
Dinner: stirfry and teriyaki rice! 300
Today, I ate near-flawlessly.
Breakfast: Raisin Bran Crunch w/ 3/4C Soymilk -250
Two cups of Pineapple Orange Banana juice (mm...I don't like to drink my calories, but I've been feelin' the sickies comin' on and decided I needed the vitamin C). - 240 (and four servings of fruit!)
Snack/Lunch?: Bag of carrots and grapes - 100 - and string cheese - 80.
Dinner: stirfry and teriyaki rice! 300
Mmm, it was so good...and I even ate it with chopsticks! Go me. (And haha, look, I'm looking over my blog. I swear my spare time revolves around this little website now, :P).
While I was waiting for the stir fry to cook up, I was so hungry that I ended up eating four tea biscuits for a grand total of 320 calories. Kinda sucked, but I was starving. I need to find more food to bring to school with me on Mondays, I always end up so hungry.
I went to the gym a couple hours after I ate, and was hungry all over again (damn Chinese food), so I had a slice of bread with some Skippy All Natural PB on it (seriously the best PB ever) for about 150.
So, total = 1440, which I am totally happy with, considering the kind of bad-eating weekend I was coming off of. One of my focuses this week is going to be water - I haven't been drinking enough, I can just feel it.
At the gym, I burned 250 caloires between the treadmill (still hate it), and the recumbent bike (still not my favorite), just to try something new. I guess I'm either a track-jogging or upright bike kind of girl. I also did the weights today, since I didn't go yesterday because of the snow (biceps, triceps, glutes, hamstrings, quads, hip adductor/abductor, delts, other assorted back muscles). I don't do any ab stuff because I get plenty of ab work-out-ing from my bellydance classes.
I might post tomorrow, but if not, look forward to my first weigh-in with my new scale! I might just name it the Redheaded Slut, after one of my favorite shots, haha. Can you tell I'm a college kid? Ah jeez...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Decisions, Decisions
Well, it's Sunday, and I haven't posted since Wednesday. I had kind of a mini-breakdown from stress on Thursday, and tried to spend this weekend relaxing and planning out when I can do some homework, etc, so that I don't get that stressed out again. Unfortunately, this means dropping my yoga class so I can have a couple of weeknights free for homework. I can still do yoga whenever I feel like it, and I'm glad I could drop something that wasn't critical. Also unfortunately, trying to relax this weekend ended up with me making some seriously bad food decisions (Taco Bell, candy, more candy, Denny's...).
I did have a great weekend though. I got to hang out with my friend Roz on Friday night, who I haven't seen forever. Andrew and I spent all of Saturday hanging out, which was amazing - we're both so buys we don't get to see each other very much, so it really was a treat to spend a whole day with him. Saturday night he took me out to this place in Bloomington called Stonecutter's, and it was incredible. We walked in on a wine/tapas night we didn't know was happening, and ended up with Cajun Deviled Eggs, an imported cheese plate, Beef Carpaccio with green beans and salad, and some seriously delicious cheesecake. The whole delicious event was only thirty dollars. The Carpaccio took longer than they expected, so they gave me a free glass of wine. I guess the place is coffeeshop by day and restaurant by weekend. It's tiny, cozy, inviting, and fun. The staff is amazing and they had a flamenco guitar player there. It was really the best date we've been on in awhile. Then we went to Hobby Lobby and make mardi gras masks for a party we went to that night, which was also a great time.
Although my weekend was wonderful, I really need to get back on track here. On Saturday, after spending a couple days getting over my .4 lb gain, I weighed myself at the gym out of curiosity. I hadn't eaten yet, and I stepped on the scale to see a pretty surprising number - 201.6. Yeah. 201.6, bitches. I know I didn't lose four pounds in three days, so I can accept that Wednesday's weight was just a weird kind of fluke, and I'm going to input this 201.6 into my weight loss ticker at the side of this blog. I decided that weighing myself in the mornings, after I pee and before I eat really is the best time to get an accurate sense of my true weight. Because of this, I went out and bought my own scale! Sorry for the crappy phone picture...
So I guess that's what I look like at 201. I was thinking about these pictures while I was at work tonight, and just the thought of them drew my hand away from the donut case. I'm glad I took these - they're the most powerful motivator I think I could ever have found - but I hate looking at them. But I know I'm gonna love the pictures at 158.
I'm really going to focus on my goals this week - tracking almost every day, new recipes, etc. This upcoming weekend is my baby brother's birthday (he's turning 5! I can't believe it), and cake is one of my biggest loves on this earth. I'm going to keep these pictures in mind, and try to employ self-control.
By the way, I just want to thank the people who read this blog - family, friends, and fellow bloggers. Without you guys, I already would have quit. I hope you stick around all through the year and keep me going. I love you guys (even those who I barely know). Thank you so much. <3
Peace out, kids.
I did have a great weekend though. I got to hang out with my friend Roz on Friday night, who I haven't seen forever. Andrew and I spent all of Saturday hanging out, which was amazing - we're both so buys we don't get to see each other very much, so it really was a treat to spend a whole day with him. Saturday night he took me out to this place in Bloomington called Stonecutter's, and it was incredible. We walked in on a wine/tapas night we didn't know was happening, and ended up with Cajun Deviled Eggs, an imported cheese plate, Beef Carpaccio with green beans and salad, and some seriously delicious cheesecake. The whole delicious event was only thirty dollars. The Carpaccio took longer than they expected, so they gave me a free glass of wine. I guess the place is coffeeshop by day and restaurant by weekend. It's tiny, cozy, inviting, and fun. The staff is amazing and they had a flamenco guitar player there. It was really the best date we've been on in awhile. Then we went to Hobby Lobby and make mardi gras masks for a party we went to that night, which was also a great time.
Although my weekend was wonderful, I really need to get back on track here. On Saturday, after spending a couple days getting over my .4 lb gain, I weighed myself at the gym out of curiosity. I hadn't eaten yet, and I stepped on the scale to see a pretty surprising number - 201.6. Yeah. 201.6, bitches. I know I didn't lose four pounds in three days, so I can accept that Wednesday's weight was just a weird kind of fluke, and I'm going to input this 201.6 into my weight loss ticker at the side of this blog. I decided that weighing myself in the mornings, after I pee and before I eat really is the best time to get an accurate sense of my true weight. Because of this, I went out and bought my own scale! Sorry for the crappy phone picture...
It's shiny and red! My favorite color! I'm super excited. :D I played around on it today, with my clothes on and off, before and after I ate dinner, to get a sense of what kinds of fluctuations I can expect. I'm going to try and use this just as a tool to help get a general sense of my progress - hopefully I don't become too obsessed with the numbers I see. I'll continue to weigh in on Wednesdays, but I'll just weigh myself in the morning and not at night when I'm at the gym. I really want to give it a name, but I can't decide. What do you think I should name my first scale?
I also had my boyfriend take some pictures of me in my workout gear (minus shirt) before I went to the gym on Saturday. I really don't want to post these. I want to delete them and never think about them ever again. I'm only smiling in these because he was making me laugh, but as I look at them now I'm not smiling at all. I don't want anybody else to see these pictures. I can't believe I'm doing this.
So I guess that's what I look like at 201. I was thinking about these pictures while I was at work tonight, and just the thought of them drew my hand away from the donut case. I'm glad I took these - they're the most powerful motivator I think I could ever have found - but I hate looking at them. But I know I'm gonna love the pictures at 158.
I'm really going to focus on my goals this week - tracking almost every day, new recipes, etc. This upcoming weekend is my baby brother's birthday (he's turning 5! I can't believe it), and cake is one of my biggest loves on this earth. I'm going to keep these pictures in mind, and try to employ self-control.
By the way, I just want to thank the people who read this blog - family, friends, and fellow bloggers. Without you guys, I already would have quit. I hope you stick around all through the year and keep me going. I love you guys (even those who I barely know). Thank you so much. <3
Peace out, kids.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday Weigh-In #3
Today, I ate 1600 calories because I was bored and couldn't control myself. I burned an extra 300 calories at the gym to offset it - took me nearly an hour and a half to do the whole 550.
This week, I gained .4 lbs.
How careless of me.
Goodnight.
EDIT: Boyfriend's chalking it up to muscle gain. I hope he's right.
This week, I gained .4 lbs.
How careless of me.
Goodnight.
EDIT: Boyfriend's chalking it up to muscle gain. I hope he's right.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Making Up For It
So. Keeping my goals for this week in mind, I COMPLETELY failed at eating. However, I did succeed at tracking my failure, and this is what I ended up with.
Breakfast: High fiber oatmeal w/skim milk for 200, and mandarin oranges for 100 (300 total)
Snack: Banana and vanilla Silk - 90+130 = 220
Lunch: Hummus sammich w/cheese - about 350
I also ate about four servings of cheese at work, honestly without even realizing it. Sigh. So 240 there.
I then had a massive cookie just because it looked good, so another 250 there.
I was pretty full by then and didn't eat again til just now, and had a serving of grapes and snack-size cottage cheese for about 200.
I had a diet coke and a coke zero, but those don't count. Also had a handful of chips - maybe 150?
Total: 1710. Pretty bad.
However, I did take a few steps in the right direction today by tracking everything that went in my mouth. At one point, after I realized how much cheese I had actually eaten, I thought about not tracking for the rest of the day and then realized it's those kinds of decisions that sabotage my efforts to lose weight. So here, today, I took a step forward in accountability, and even though I didn't stick to my diet I still count this as a part-win. Also, once I realized that I had eaten more than what I should have, I decided to double-duty at the gym. I also thought about not going - a huge thanks to my boyfriend for telling me I should go and not accepting my excuses to get out of it. I burned 500 calories at the gym. So, subtract the 250 I burned to help offset what I ate, and that leaves me at 1460, which is a little more acceptable. Kudos to me for burning those calories off! I also got in the usual amount of burned calories today, and then I went to dance class. So although I ate bad, I made up for it, and tomorrow is a new day. I went grocery shopping today and picked up all my basics (bananas, grapes, soymilk, cereal, etc.) so I am good to go.
I am very proud of myself. : )
Breakfast: High fiber oatmeal w/skim milk for 200, and mandarin oranges for 100 (300 total)
Snack: Banana and vanilla Silk - 90+130 = 220
Lunch: Hummus sammich w/cheese - about 350
I also ate about four servings of cheese at work, honestly without even realizing it. Sigh. So 240 there.
I then had a massive cookie just because it looked good, so another 250 there.
I was pretty full by then and didn't eat again til just now, and had a serving of grapes and snack-size cottage cheese for about 200.
I had a diet coke and a coke zero, but those don't count. Also had a handful of chips - maybe 150?
Total: 1710. Pretty bad.
However, I did take a few steps in the right direction today by tracking everything that went in my mouth. At one point, after I realized how much cheese I had actually eaten, I thought about not tracking for the rest of the day and then realized it's those kinds of decisions that sabotage my efforts to lose weight. So here, today, I took a step forward in accountability, and even though I didn't stick to my diet I still count this as a part-win. Also, once I realized that I had eaten more than what I should have, I decided to double-duty at the gym. I also thought about not going - a huge thanks to my boyfriend for telling me I should go and not accepting my excuses to get out of it. I burned 500 calories at the gym. So, subtract the 250 I burned to help offset what I ate, and that leaves me at 1460, which is a little more acceptable. Kudos to me for burning those calories off! I also got in the usual amount of burned calories today, and then I went to dance class. So although I ate bad, I made up for it, and tomorrow is a new day. I went grocery shopping today and picked up all my basics (bananas, grapes, soymilk, cereal, etc.) so I am good to go.
I am very proud of myself. : )
Monday, February 8, 2010
Goooooooal!
Okay. So. I haven't met a goal yet, but I felt like laying some out would be good for me. So, first off, short term/weekly goals.
- Lose ten pounds (Mini Weight Loss Goal 1)
Reward: Full body massage! I've decided that after ten pounds, as a reward to myself, I'm going to have a full body massage. I was trying to think of rewards that didn't involve food, alcohol, or detrimental affects to other areas of my life (ie, skipping a night of homework). Considering I love massages and they are totally worth the money, I think this is a great idea. I've decided that future ten-pound losses will warrant rewards like a new hip wrap for bellydancing or a new purse (since mine are falling apart).
- Try one new healthy recipe per week.
Reward: Better nutrition and improved cooking skills! Andrew and I are moving in together this summer, and we've already decided that he'll clean the dishes if I do the cooking, which sounds great to me because doing dishes is my least favorite chore and I like learning how to do new things. I'm pretty excited for this - I wanna learn how to make different kinds of food, like good Mexican and Thai food.
- Hit the gym five days a week.
Reward: Fitness! Woot. I did go five days (or what evened out to five days) last week, and it felt great. Since I really only have time for thirty minutes of cardio on the weekdays, I need to go more times per week so it can even out. Also it just feels nice to be active most days.
- Do strength training circuit two days a week.
Reward: Strength! Woot. I did the circuit on Sunday, and it felt really good. I focused mostly on muscles that could use strengthening for bellydance - legs, hips, and arms and such. So I think I'ma keep this up, and try and do it twice a week. Unfortunately, the gym is packed during the week, and doing the circuit can be a pain trying to get through all the people, so this might get revised.
- Track calories five out of seven days.
Reward: Accountability! So I more or less fail at this right now, and probably end up eating way more per day than I should. So this is really just something I have to do - no choice, haha.
I think these five goals are going to put me on the right track, and I'll try and post my progress with them weekly/whenever I lose ten pounds. Also, on Wednesday, I'm going to post some before pics to compare with me later on and help me succeed! Yay!
So, today, I ate really well! Here's what I had.
Breakfast - same ole raisin bran crunch with skim milk for 270
Lunch - AWESOME salad (5-lettuce mix, carrots, peas, mandarin oranges, red onions, almonds, broccoli, and Asian sesame dressing). Check out the picture below! I also had a string cheese, all for probably about 400.
Snack - 1/2 pita with hummus and lettuce for 200
Dinner - A whole bunch of boiled veggies with a little butter, chili flakes, salt, pepper, and a little of my favorite Italian dressing for probably 400. I also some Pineapple Orange Banana juice (delicious) for about fifty or so.
Total: 1400. Good!
Here's my awesome salad:
Goodnight, everyone!
- Lose ten pounds (Mini Weight Loss Goal 1)
Reward: Full body massage! I've decided that after ten pounds, as a reward to myself, I'm going to have a full body massage. I was trying to think of rewards that didn't involve food, alcohol, or detrimental affects to other areas of my life (ie, skipping a night of homework). Considering I love massages and they are totally worth the money, I think this is a great idea. I've decided that future ten-pound losses will warrant rewards like a new hip wrap for bellydancing or a new purse (since mine are falling apart).
- Try one new healthy recipe per week.
Reward: Better nutrition and improved cooking skills! Andrew and I are moving in together this summer, and we've already decided that he'll clean the dishes if I do the cooking, which sounds great to me because doing dishes is my least favorite chore and I like learning how to do new things. I'm pretty excited for this - I wanna learn how to make different kinds of food, like good Mexican and Thai food.
- Hit the gym five days a week.
Reward: Fitness! Woot. I did go five days (or what evened out to five days) last week, and it felt great. Since I really only have time for thirty minutes of cardio on the weekdays, I need to go more times per week so it can even out. Also it just feels nice to be active most days.
- Do strength training circuit two days a week.
Reward: Strength! Woot. I did the circuit on Sunday, and it felt really good. I focused mostly on muscles that could use strengthening for bellydance - legs, hips, and arms and such. So I think I'ma keep this up, and try and do it twice a week. Unfortunately, the gym is packed during the week, and doing the circuit can be a pain trying to get through all the people, so this might get revised.
- Track calories five out of seven days.
Reward: Accountability! So I more or less fail at this right now, and probably end up eating way more per day than I should. So this is really just something I have to do - no choice, haha.
I think these five goals are going to put me on the right track, and I'll try and post my progress with them weekly/whenever I lose ten pounds. Also, on Wednesday, I'm going to post some before pics to compare with me later on and help me succeed! Yay!
So, today, I ate really well! Here's what I had.
Breakfast - same ole raisin bran crunch with skim milk for 270
Lunch - AWESOME salad (5-lettuce mix, carrots, peas, mandarin oranges, red onions, almonds, broccoli, and Asian sesame dressing). Check out the picture below! I also had a string cheese, all for probably about 400.
Snack - 1/2 pita with hummus and lettuce for 200
Dinner - A whole bunch of boiled veggies with a little butter, chili flakes, salt, pepper, and a little of my favorite Italian dressing for probably 400. I also some Pineapple Orange Banana juice (delicious) for about fifty or so.
Total: 1400. Good!
Here's my awesome salad:
Goodnight, everyone!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Today, since I have actually managed to stick to my diet and go to the gym all in the same day, I thought I'd lay out the good, the bad, and the ugly about being overweight to give myself something to look back on when I'm feeling discouraged or complacent, and perhaps to give you guys a little insight into my daily struggles.
The Good
Um. Nothing.
The Bad
How about we start with the health risks? As I've mentioned before, heart problems run in my family. Last time I went to the doctor, my blood pressure was higher than usual, corresponding with my heaviest-yet weight. Also bad is the self-esteem/-confidence that gets damaged nearly every time I look in the mirror and that I can't seem to keep from slipping, no matter what anybody tells me. Most of the time, I do have pretty good self-esteem. But on those off days when I just look like crap and can't bring myself to do anything but sit around in my boyfriend's sweats and eat chocolate, my self-esteem/-confidence plummet. My boyfriend can tell me I'm beautiful til he's blue in the face but on those days it never matters. I feel ugly, and gross, and like I shouldn't dirty the face of the earth with my nasty self by leaving the house. I rarely feel like this, but the point is that sometimes I do actually feel like this. Nobody should have to feel this way because of something changeable like their weight. Another bad thing is that I jiggle when I walk, and clothes shopping can be just straight up obnoxious. There are stores I know I can't go into because nothing will fit. And while these stores usually sell styles I wouldn't wear anyway, it's the fact that my weight is robbing me of the choice to try those clothes on that really bothers me. And I don't want to lose fifty pounds to be skinny. "Thin" is not my goal here - my goal is to be healthy, fit, and to initiate patterns of eating and behavior that will last my entire life. If it just so happens that I end up thin, so be it. If I get to the point where I'm too thin, I'll reevaluate my goals. To me, thin women without curves just aren't as attractive as curvy women whose bones you couldn't count just by looking at them.
The Ugly
Alright. So even on my bad days, I don't think I'm ugly. Few people are actually ugly. I know I'm pretty - I have a nice face, great curves, big blue eyes, and naturally blonde hair. But thanks to my weight, my body has a few ugly features. Perhaps the most annoying thing is that I can't wear skirts or dresses without having to lube up my thighs with copious amounts of deodorant to prevent chafing. Deodorant is the best solution I've found for this, but it would be so nice if I didn't even have to worry about it. Another thing that annoys me are these long stretch marks on my belly from losing, gaining, losing, gaining weight. They're never going to go away. Maybe when I'm 158 I can wear the proudly, like scars from donating a kidney or something. But right now, they just remind me of past failures, and I wish they made a flesh-colored Magic Marker so I could at least cover them up. The ugliest thing, though, is also the funniest. After all, how can you be healthy if you can't laugh at yourself? So, my fat has its own topography. I'm not kidding. The lines start about two or three inches below my belly button and there's three or four of them in rows down my lower stomach. They aren't folds in my skin, just kind of indentations, and I feel like they designate where some fat rolls would be if I were heavier. It's unpleasant to think about, but being overweight is unpleasant. It's very unpleasant. And I can't wait until I don't have to think about it anymore. I can laugh about it now, because I know it's not my permanent state of being.
Food diary time!
Breakfast - cereal with skim milk for 270
Snack - 2 English chocolate tea biscuits for 160
Lunch - 1/2 PBJ sammich and mandarin oranges for 345
Dinner - Healthy Choice dinner for 310
Snack - 2 string cheeses and a yogurt dessert cup for 260
Total: 1360
So after my last post about how I'm not on a diet (which I still stick to), I've been thinking about my eating and have decided that I really do need to keep up with my food diary most days of the week (5 out of 7). I can easily see this being my downfall, again, and I'm determined to succeed this time.
And on that train of thought, I just want to say that if you're reading this, and you know me, and you know that a lot of the time I say I'm going to do things and then never finish/get around to doing them, I want to let you know that this is not one of those times. I'm serious. And I absolutely need you to believe in me, because I can't do this without your support.
Adios.
The Good
Um. Nothing.
The Bad
How about we start with the health risks? As I've mentioned before, heart problems run in my family. Last time I went to the doctor, my blood pressure was higher than usual, corresponding with my heaviest-yet weight. Also bad is the self-esteem/-confidence that gets damaged nearly every time I look in the mirror and that I can't seem to keep from slipping, no matter what anybody tells me. Most of the time, I do have pretty good self-esteem. But on those off days when I just look like crap and can't bring myself to do anything but sit around in my boyfriend's sweats and eat chocolate, my self-esteem/-confidence plummet. My boyfriend can tell me I'm beautiful til he's blue in the face but on those days it never matters. I feel ugly, and gross, and like I shouldn't dirty the face of the earth with my nasty self by leaving the house. I rarely feel like this, but the point is that sometimes I do actually feel like this. Nobody should have to feel this way because of something changeable like their weight. Another bad thing is that I jiggle when I walk, and clothes shopping can be just straight up obnoxious. There are stores I know I can't go into because nothing will fit. And while these stores usually sell styles I wouldn't wear anyway, it's the fact that my weight is robbing me of the choice to try those clothes on that really bothers me. And I don't want to lose fifty pounds to be skinny. "Thin" is not my goal here - my goal is to be healthy, fit, and to initiate patterns of eating and behavior that will last my entire life. If it just so happens that I end up thin, so be it. If I get to the point where I'm too thin, I'll reevaluate my goals. To me, thin women without curves just aren't as attractive as curvy women whose bones you couldn't count just by looking at them.
The Ugly
Alright. So even on my bad days, I don't think I'm ugly. Few people are actually ugly. I know I'm pretty - I have a nice face, great curves, big blue eyes, and naturally blonde hair. But thanks to my weight, my body has a few ugly features. Perhaps the most annoying thing is that I can't wear skirts or dresses without having to lube up my thighs with copious amounts of deodorant to prevent chafing. Deodorant is the best solution I've found for this, but it would be so nice if I didn't even have to worry about it. Another thing that annoys me are these long stretch marks on my belly from losing, gaining, losing, gaining weight. They're never going to go away. Maybe when I'm 158 I can wear the proudly, like scars from donating a kidney or something. But right now, they just remind me of past failures, and I wish they made a flesh-colored Magic Marker so I could at least cover them up. The ugliest thing, though, is also the funniest. After all, how can you be healthy if you can't laugh at yourself? So, my fat has its own topography. I'm not kidding. The lines start about two or three inches below my belly button and there's three or four of them in rows down my lower stomach. They aren't folds in my skin, just kind of indentations, and I feel like they designate where some fat rolls would be if I were heavier. It's unpleasant to think about, but being overweight is unpleasant. It's very unpleasant. And I can't wait until I don't have to think about it anymore. I can laugh about it now, because I know it's not my permanent state of being.
Food diary time!
Breakfast - cereal with skim milk for 270
Snack - 2 English chocolate tea biscuits for 160
Lunch - 1/2 PBJ sammich and mandarin oranges for 345
Dinner - Healthy Choice dinner for 310
Snack - 2 string cheeses and a yogurt dessert cup for 260
Total: 1360
So after my last post about how I'm not on a diet (which I still stick to), I've been thinking about my eating and have decided that I really do need to keep up with my food diary most days of the week (5 out of 7). I can easily see this being my downfall, again, and I'm determined to succeed this time.
And on that train of thought, I just want to say that if you're reading this, and you know me, and you know that a lot of the time I say I'm going to do things and then never finish/get around to doing them, I want to let you know that this is not one of those times. I'm serious. And I absolutely need you to believe in me, because I can't do this without your support.
Adios.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Eatin' cheese on toast.
No, I don't actually eat cheese on toast (although it sounds kind of delicious). It's from a Kate Nash song I can't stop listening to.
So, it's Saturday. I don't eat well on Thursdays, but I did okay yesterday (I think). Andrew and I did go out for pizza for dinner, but it had veggies on it and I only ate two slices (had the leftover slice for breakfast :D). Today, all I've eaten is a banana, that slice of pizza, bread with Dutch sprinkles on it (yeah, the Dutch eat sprinkles on their toast in the mornings...I'm moving to the Netherlands), and a tea biscuit from England. I have purposely not eaten much because I have plans tonight to go out to dinner to my favorite Mexican place with some coworkers that I really like. Because I knew I was planning on having Mexican tonight, I did double duty at the gym - an entire hour on the bike.
So this is a point I want to make. I want to make it clear that I am not on a diet. I'm trying to lose fifty pounds, yes, but the healthy foods I try and eat are not a temporary thing that are going to disappear from my fridge as soon as I hit 158. I'm trying to change my lifestyle here. A lifestyle change doesn't mean that I can't eat pizza and Mexican food - it means that I can eat pizza and Mexican food, just not too often to make it bad for me. And that I have to make up for it with exercise, which I have gotten plenty of in the past two days. I do try to keep under 1300 calories most days, but that's only a general guideline and only because I really want to lose fifty pounds. Most days, I don't even count calories. I just try and eat well, and make sure I get my fruit and veggies and remember to go to the gym.
Well now that that's off my chest, let's have a week recap. I was kind of discouraged at the beginning of this week before I found out I had lost two pounds, so I wasn't eating very well. However, I did go to the gym Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and today (which counts as five days because I did double duty). I also had dance class Thursday (accidentally slept through it on Tuesday), so that helps too. It's really my activity level that causes me to lose weight, I think, because as I just said I'm not that vigilant about not eating crappy things. Perhaps that should change, but I need to give it time - I can't expect to overhaul my diet in a month and have everything go smoothly. That's setting myself up for failure, which I know I can avoid by taking things at an appropriate pace.
Well, I'm off for some Mexican food - just wanted to check in. : )
So, it's Saturday. I don't eat well on Thursdays, but I did okay yesterday (I think). Andrew and I did go out for pizza for dinner, but it had veggies on it and I only ate two slices (had the leftover slice for breakfast :D). Today, all I've eaten is a banana, that slice of pizza, bread with Dutch sprinkles on it (yeah, the Dutch eat sprinkles on their toast in the mornings...I'm moving to the Netherlands), and a tea biscuit from England. I have purposely not eaten much because I have plans tonight to go out to dinner to my favorite Mexican place with some coworkers that I really like. Because I knew I was planning on having Mexican tonight, I did double duty at the gym - an entire hour on the bike.
So this is a point I want to make. I want to make it clear that I am not on a diet. I'm trying to lose fifty pounds, yes, but the healthy foods I try and eat are not a temporary thing that are going to disappear from my fridge as soon as I hit 158. I'm trying to change my lifestyle here. A lifestyle change doesn't mean that I can't eat pizza and Mexican food - it means that I can eat pizza and Mexican food, just not too often to make it bad for me. And that I have to make up for it with exercise, which I have gotten plenty of in the past two days. I do try to keep under 1300 calories most days, but that's only a general guideline and only because I really want to lose fifty pounds. Most days, I don't even count calories. I just try and eat well, and make sure I get my fruit and veggies and remember to go to the gym.
Well now that that's off my chest, let's have a week recap. I was kind of discouraged at the beginning of this week before I found out I had lost two pounds, so I wasn't eating very well. However, I did go to the gym Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and today (which counts as five days because I did double duty). I also had dance class Thursday (accidentally slept through it on Tuesday), so that helps too. It's really my activity level that causes me to lose weight, I think, because as I just said I'm not that vigilant about not eating crappy things. Perhaps that should change, but I need to give it time - I can't expect to overhaul my diet in a month and have everything go smoothly. That's setting myself up for failure, which I know I can avoid by taking things at an appropriate pace.
Well, I'm off for some Mexican food - just wanted to check in. : )
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Wednesday Weigh-In #2
So yesterday was a bust. I knew it would be. Oh well - the nasty side effects Steak n Shake gave me made me learn my lesson.
Today has been pretty good. Went to GIS class, where I'm pretty sure I impressed my professor both with a homework assignment and my general ability to answer complicated questions about map projections even though I haven't taken the prereq for the class (I read the homework ahead of time and BAM, instawin!). Then I went to work for two hours and go to work with my favorite people - and only ate two servings of cheese and a diet coke - then went to Spanish class, Archaeology of Ancient Mexico where I impressed another professor with my good and well thought-out questions, then I went and did an assignment for GIS in the computer lab in the Union, went home, ran to yoga, went to the gym and burned 250 on the bike and here I am!
It seems like a long day, especially considering I got up early to get some homework done, but it didn't feel that bad. I really enjoy my Wednesday classes.
So yeah! The weigh-in. Well until I weighed myself, I was kind of in a bad mood even though I had a pretty good day. Iono, blame the weather or something. I did my bit on the bike, tried some jogging (that really didn't go well - my legs/ankles are still messed up) and then went down to the scale and discovered I LOST TWO POUNDS. Yaaaaaay! :D This week, even though I haven't really eaten well, I went from 207.8 to 205.6! I'm usually tempted to attribute success to water weight, but I've been keeping myself very well hydrated so I know it's actually real weight that's lowering.
Only three more pounds til the first five!
Today has been pretty good. Went to GIS class, where I'm pretty sure I impressed my professor both with a homework assignment and my general ability to answer complicated questions about map projections even though I haven't taken the prereq for the class (I read the homework ahead of time and BAM, instawin!). Then I went to work for two hours and go to work with my favorite people - and only ate two servings of cheese and a diet coke - then went to Spanish class, Archaeology of Ancient Mexico where I impressed another professor with my good and well thought-out questions, then I went and did an assignment for GIS in the computer lab in the Union, went home, ran to yoga, went to the gym and burned 250 on the bike and here I am!
It seems like a long day, especially considering I got up early to get some homework done, but it didn't feel that bad. I really enjoy my Wednesday classes.
So yeah! The weigh-in. Well until I weighed myself, I was kind of in a bad mood even though I had a pretty good day. Iono, blame the weather or something. I did my bit on the bike, tried some jogging (that really didn't go well - my legs/ankles are still messed up) and then went down to the scale and discovered I LOST TWO POUNDS. Yaaaaaay! :D This week, even though I haven't really eaten well, I went from 207.8 to 205.6! I'm usually tempted to attribute success to water weight, but I've been keeping myself very well hydrated so I know it's actually real weight that's lowering.
Only three more pounds til the first five!
Monday, February 1, 2010
River runnin' free...
So my boyfriend linked me this article that I was thought was seriously interesting (and not only because it concerns my healthy eating efforts). Here's the link for the article: Interesting...
The part that really caught me was this:
"Giving someone a diet drink tells the body that there's an 'energy crisis' because you're giving it something that tastes good but it has no calories.
"Your body realizes that and tries to grab everything available right now. So diet soft drinks lead to increased impulsivity,".
No wonder I eat so many cookies on the days I have diet Coke. (Mimi - maybe this affects your diabetes? Something to think about. : / )
The title of this post references a song I've been listening to all day - Feelin' Good by Nina Simone. You should really listen to it.
So today has been good! I didn't work, so I got up early, took a shower, made myself look cute and feel happy. For breakfast I had the standard Raisin Bran Crunch with light vanilla Silk (270). For a lunch/snacky thing, I had a bag full of baby carrots and grapes (about a cup each) as well as a string cheese. For dinner/snack 2(?) I had a big bowl of leftover salad from Saturday night (maybe 250?) and a banana (90). Then for dinner2 Andrew and I had some leftovers - chicken with mayo, mustard, and a whole bunch of veggies and pepper mixed up in tortillas with lettuce, and we had some peas too. Then I had a 100-calorie yogurt snack and a 200 calories Strongbow because I thought I deserved it. I'm pretty confident I stayed under 1300 calories, but even if I didn't that's a lot of fruit and veggies. Yay me! I also went to the gym again today (250 burned) and went to yoga. I'm in a really good mood tonight - yoga just kind of brightens me up all over.
Tomorrow, I plan more healthy eating and more exercise. :D
Buenas noches!
The part that really caught me was this:
"Giving someone a diet drink tells the body that there's an 'energy crisis' because you're giving it something that tastes good but it has no calories.
"Your body realizes that and tries to grab everything available right now. So diet soft drinks lead to increased impulsivity,".
No wonder I eat so many cookies on the days I have diet Coke. (Mimi - maybe this affects your diabetes? Something to think about. : / )
The title of this post references a song I've been listening to all day - Feelin' Good by Nina Simone. You should really listen to it.
So today has been good! I didn't work, so I got up early, took a shower, made myself look cute and feel happy. For breakfast I had the standard Raisin Bran Crunch with light vanilla Silk (270). For a lunch/snacky thing, I had a bag full of baby carrots and grapes (about a cup each) as well as a string cheese. For dinner/snack 2(?) I had a big bowl of leftover salad from Saturday night (maybe 250?) and a banana (90). Then for dinner2 Andrew and I had some leftovers - chicken with mayo, mustard, and a whole bunch of veggies and pepper mixed up in tortillas with lettuce, and we had some peas too. Then I had a 100-calorie yogurt snack and a 200 calories Strongbow because I thought I deserved it. I'm pretty confident I stayed under 1300 calories, but even if I didn't that's a lot of fruit and veggies. Yay me! I also went to the gym again today (250 burned) and went to yoga. I'm in a really good mood tonight - yoga just kind of brightens me up all over.
Tomorrow, I plan more healthy eating and more exercise. :D
Buenas noches!
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