*click*

You know that moment when you first realized you wanted or needed to lose weight?  When you realized the potential within a life full of healthy food and exercise?  When you made those first steps toward changing your life around?  When you laid our your goals, your methods, your plan, and set yourself on that lifelong track?  Do you remember that moment? 

I remember my moment.  And I remember letting that moment go about mid-semester.  And now, I'm having a second one.

I was doing so well, and then school knocked me off track.  Knocked me so far off, in fact, that it's taken me this long to even find my track again.  I wandered blindly through a forest of bad food choices, unable to find the right direction to run in, and unwilling to even run or do any exercise again.  But I've stumbled upon my track once again.  It's spring, and the sun is out, and I'm ready to go.  The past couple of days have been spent in evaluation of what went wrong and how I can fix it.  And now that I've won Alexia's giveaway for the overeating/binge eating workbook, and now that I've gotten a grant for $900 to help pay for my Mexico trip and actually have money to spend again on food, I have all the tools I need. 

I'm tired of feeling tired, and heavy, and slow.  I don't want to sit all day.  I want to get up, go outside, and enjoy my life.  I crave that feeling of lightness that comes from eating well, the energy that comes from exercise.  I miss feeling like a well-oiled machine.  I guess I forgot that machines need maintenance, and I stopped caring for mine.  But school has become manageable again, and with the rest of my year looking like it's going to be wonderful, I'm ready to get back to where I was and to where I want to stay - my happy, healthy place.  I know the next time I let myself wander back into the land of bad choices I will remember the past month or so and I will quickly turn back around and get healthy again.  I never want to feel this run-down for this length of time ever again.  I've gotten some great advice from some great people on how to get started again, and I will succeed.  As in every other arena of my life, from school to relationships, failure just is not an option.  I will not fail at being a healthy and happier person. 

I have to do some homework to do at the library, but when I get back I'm cleaning all the bad things out of my fridge and pantry and I'm going to the store with my paycheck to buy good, healthy foodstuffs.  I'm sure there will be pictures when I get back.  I'm glad my mind has clicked back into place.  : )