Thursday, January 20, 2011

That's all, folks.

Hey friends.  I am indeed alive - into my second week of my last semester of college and looking toward the future.  I've got too many decisions to make in the coming months, and it looks like one is gonna have to be about this blog.

I've gone back and forth about keeping it up or saying goodbye.  Although all last year I tried to keep up with posting, I still had trouble losing weight (and lots of it).  I'm not sure that it helped me work toward my goals - on some level, I often find myself comparing my progress (or lack thereof) to many of the women and men whose blogs I read and I'm coming to understand how unhealthy that is.  Although I still love to read your stories, I'm not sure I really have anything interesting for you to read.  In addition, I don't necessarily need this outlet of support anymore.  I've told many people in my life that I'm trying to become a healthier person, everyone from my family to close professors and class acquaintances.  I've also learned that the only person who really cares whether or not I lose weight is me.  Shocker, I know.  Of course this also means that I'm the only one who gives a shit about whether I work out or not.  I think on some level I understood this before, but now I really get it.  I have to do the work.  I have to make myself go when I don't want to.  They're my bad habits to change. 

Right now, I'm working on getting it back together after the holidays and a four-day binge fest of a weekend.  And I know that I will be a healthier person soon - I may not be losing pounds the way I expected, but since I've been lifting weights I'm twice as strong as I used to be and that feeling is something I refuse to let go of.  I know I am truly a fit person who loves to be active - I've just been shackled by fat for a long time.  But the part of my life where I suffered so much is over and I've got a bright shiny future to experience.  I am becoming the woman I want to be, and my body will eventually fall in line. 

That being said, I think I may post when I have some exciting news or awesome NSVs, but feel free to stop following me.  This blog has served its purpose and it's time I moved on. 

I just want to say thank you, to all of you, for every kind word of encouragement you ever said to me.  You, someone I don't even really know, had the compassion to support me through an emotional and chaotic year.  I wish I could fill the whole world with wonderful and beautiful people like you.  Again, thank you. 

Adios.  : )

3 comments:

  1. Wishing you the very best, Erika. I know we'll lose the weight when it's time. It's hard for me to be patient about it, but remembering that it's taken me quite a while to gain all this weight helps.
    Thanks for all the support you've sent my way.
    And add me on facebook if you'd like to keep in touch! Find me here: Alexia Arthurs

    Love, me.

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  2. Aw. I only found your blog today. Im glad you've found the best path for yourself though. Best of luck!

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  3. Thanks for you. I think regularly you going to Gym you most loss your wait. keep touch with Gym

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